In my shoes
It isn’t easy sharing with family and friends with the fact that I have Keratoconus, KC.
It’s becoming a habit for me to share about my condition over a meal, probably because I know that the chance of my tears swelling up while I am eating is not very high. Though the structure of the sharing process is almost the same, (I give them my diagnosis, they give me their response (which are mainly blank stares), questions on KC and their words of sympathy, concern and sometimes, advise) I learnt something new from each sharing.
Sharing allows me to gauge my relationship with that person, his/ her characteristic, maturity and last but not least, his/ her compassion. There are some who promise that they will remember me in their prayer. There are others who lean over, held my hand and gave me a gentle squeeze every now and then. There are some, who pray with me and share my tears. And there are others whom I can almost see them shrug their shoulder and without any feeling, almost audibly declare that “Well, this is life for you. Move on!”
Well to be fair, KC is quite an unheard condition isn’t it? It’s unlike those 'well- known' condition such as cancer, kidney failure, heart attack, diabetes where one can easily conjure up images of the symptoms and treatments of these top killer disease. KC tends to draw a blank from most people. However, if you just put yourself in my shoes or the shoes of any people strike with any condition or sickness, may it be curable or incurable, heard or unheard of, it’s not hard at all to say the right words to strengthen or encourage us in our battle against our sickness.
So, no matter what your reaction is when you hear about me, I ask for nothing but just a big hug and smile. :)
A New Chapter
Ever thought of your life as a story and penning your story into a book?
Well, I am letting my thoughts wonder. For starters, I wonder which category/section my book will fall in. Autobiography? Humor? Self- help? Inspirational? Or even fiction? Wherever it will be, I can vision it to be a thick book with a simple hard cover. I prefer hard cover as it helps to maintain and lengthen the life span of a book. As for thickness, a thick book is not an indication that my life on this earth will be long but an indication that my life is zealous, vibrant and rich.
I started a new chapter in my book recently. Though it pales in comparison to the unfinished chapter on “Knowing God”, it’s nonetheless a significant chapter. A chapter most probably with the title, “Battling Keratoconus.”
I was diagnosed with Keratoconus on 14th Jan 2005.
Though I do not know how this chapter will end but it will be one fill be love, hope, faith and strength. :)
The notion of penning a book is well... a notion, a concept. In reality, I started 2 new blogs intending to record my struggle with Keratoconus. Kindly note that the content of the 2 blogs are exactly the same as the aim is to reach out to more people especially people with Keratoconus.
Do give me your support! :)
http://keratoconusgirl.blogspot.com/
Melting medicine
Don't we all love the sweet, liquid form of medicine that our family doctor prescribes to us when we are young?
I often ponder why we have to migrate from watery medicine to solid medicine; it is just so hard to get those solid medicines down my throat. No amount of water will help; hence I derived my way of consuming it. I will grab hold of a Chinese soup spoon, fill it up with hot water and tried my very best to dissolve the solid medicine before emptying it in a big gulp. According to my list, capsule is definitely one of the greatest inventions to benefit mankind! :)
Isn't it a pain that some things in life are like a solid medicine, hard to swallow but compelled to do otherwise?
I'm diagnosed with Keratoconus (KC) in my right eye just last Friday, 14th Jan 2005.
It's a degenerative, unpredictable, (usually) bilateral eye- condition that has a known active period of 5 to 10 years and is characterized by the thinning of the central cornea. That led to variable decrease in vision and increase of astigmatism. I'm in the early stage of KC and a well- prescribe spectacles will help to correct my vision. There will come a day where I have to rely on rigid contact lenses to correct my vision. The brute fact is that 20% of KC patients will eventually need a cornea transplant.
KC is by far, my hardest-to-swallow-solid-medicine.
And it is only through the strength of God that I'm able not only to accept it but accept it with a cheerful heart. It wasn't easy to come this far. One of the first things that I did upon diagnosis was to hit yahoo.com and conduct a big on- going search on KC. I'm also in the hunt for a Singapore Keratoconus support group or any Singaporean with Keratoconus. (Please kindly drop me a line if you belong to any of the 2 above mentioned group.)
There's probably nothing much I can do to stop the KC from degenerating except perhaps continue to send my little petitions to God. But if He choose not to answer my prayer, I know He will be there.. to melt the solid medicine with warm water in a Chinese soup spoon for me...
A happy heart is like good medicine, but a broken spirit drains your strength.
- Proverbs 17:22 (NCV)
The Best Present
PK, “Let me pay for it! I insist...”
Me, “No, you don’t have to.”
PK, “But I want to pay...”
Me, “No, it’s okay. Thank you but I can pay for it. Here take this money back.”
PK, “Let me pay! I have never given you anything expensive. Never buy you any expensive present. Just let me pay for this one. Put your money away!”
That was Peng Kong, insisting on paying for my $150 hair treatment a week ago. Though he is my boyfriend, I find that it isn’t right to have him pay for my hair treatment. Yes, it’s a sign of affection and love when he wants to spend money on me. But $150, no way am I going to accept that. I would rather he spend the money pampering himself in one way or another. I counter his last argument by this,
“Dear, you gave me the most expensive present when you brought me to church and share with me all about God. By being my boyfriend and giving me your love, you have given to me an expensive present too.”
We finally settle the issue with him paying $100 while I take charge of the remaining.
**************************************************************************
Well, how much do you think the following items are worth? A home- cooked dinner. A hand- made photo frame. A paper flower. An origami box. Those are some of the priceless item that Peng Kong has given me :) (Maybe you are thinking, what paper flower? That's so cheap and insincere. Well because, right from the beginning of our relationship, I make it clear to him that real flower to me is just a waste of money and do not buy me that.) Though the present that he gave me doesn't come from some nicely- wrap box, they comes directly from his heart. And these are the present that I will treasure more than those that he brought. Isn’t it true that sometimes the best present in the world cannot be measure by monetary value? Love, kind words, a helping hand and organs... u get the idea. Sometimes when I'm out of money and an occasion is round the corner, I will apologize to Peng Kong for not being able to get anything for him. He will hug and assure me with this, "Just give me a big hug and kiss and I'll be happy."
